Don Alsafi (duck2ducks) wrote,
Don Alsafi

Chair Vigilante

Look, the thing about living in a city is that we're ALL living in the city. Sometimes there ain't enough to go around, and you deal with it in a mature and acceptable manner. If you can't, get out of the freaking city.

Because it's snowed again, and if the forecast is to be believed, it will snow a LOT.

So it's annoying when I come home, see a parking space in front of my apartment ... and can't use it because some Absolute Cock has put a couple of chairs in the space.

That, good sir, is BULLSHIT.

The first time I heard about such a practice, I was stunned. Do people actually DO that? Are people actually that selfish? Did their mothers never teach them about sharing?

But they do. And, in my neighborhood at least, a LOT. Is this just another example of the typical lazy, cocky American? The "My shit is more important than anyone else's" attitude?

I'm not talking about reserved parking. I'm not talking about driveways. This is just regular, residential street parking. It does not belong to anyone. It belongs to EVERYONE. Sometimes you'll get home and there'll be a spot in front of your house. Sometimes you'll have to park several blocks away. Those are the same chances EVERYONE has, and it's the only fair way to do things.

So YOU CAN'T SAVE THE SPACE FOREVER AND EVER. It just doesn't work that way. And in the Chicago winter, which is bitterly cold for ALL concerned, it's even more of a dick move.

And I've had it.

The first time this vexed me, some weeks back, I thought about just picking up the chairs and parking there anyway. Saying, in effect: "No, you CAN'T do that." But I would like to return to a car that is drivable, and not a block of ice. So I myself parked three blocks away.

But when I came back, and passed that spot, I removed the chairs. First scanning my surroundings for approaching cars, shady lurkers, or prowling wolves. Working quickly and leaving an empty space, openly inviting any soul to park.

As it should be.

That first time I just moved the chairs to the curb. But from now on I think I'll move them to the alley. Preferably next to the trash bins. Just to make the lesson clear.

That being:


And thus, I become the Chair Vigilante.
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